I am an Empath
These are my favourite and most useful tips and tricks to manage if you are too.
As long as I can remember, I have been effected by the emotions and energy of the people around me. I can easily become overwhelmed and need quiet time to myself. When I’m in the presence of someone who is sad, I start to feel sad as well. The same with any number of other emotions. It’s a part of myself that has great benefits and also downsides, a part that needs tuning into and sometimes some management.
For clarification’s sake:
empath
noun
a person with the ability to perceive the mental or emotional state of another individual.
empathy
noun
the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.
Many years ago when I was living in New York City, I would ride the subway and often have the intense sensation that the anger, stress, sadness and frustration from everyone around me was flooding my system. As a result, I often would shut myself down through alcohol, putting myself into my own state of rushing, non-feeling busyness, or any number of less than useful coping mechanisms.
Recently, having been studying for a Masters in Counselling and Psychotherapy, this sense of intense and extreme emotions from others has come back. Often I experience emotions and have some confusion about why I’m feeling a certain way. What I’ve come to realise is that they are not always my emotions, they have not always originated from within me. There in lies the power really. If they’re not mine, I can dis-entangle myself, still hold space for the other and resettle into my own energy and space.
This ability to connect to and tune in to others’ pain and joy can be beautiful. It makes for some of the most powerfully connected moments in life. I humbly believe it is what makes me a good yoga teacher and yoga therapist. It is also very human. The concept of co-regulation comes to mind. Where, as humans, we tune into and adjust our nervous systems to the nervous systems around us. If you’ve ever felt calm when around someone else who seems really relaxed, you’ve co-regulated.
However, as mentioned before, it can also be intense, overwhelming, exhausting and confusing to be especially open to and tuned into someone else’s internal world.
How to cope?
Over the years, with clarification and understanding of myself and what is happening within me, I have developed a few methods to keep the boundaries of myself clear. I’ve written them with instructions for you to try if what I’ve described above resonates with you:
Meditation
Visualise an orb of energy or light around yourself. It covers your whole body, top of your head and under your legs. Remind yourself: “I am the only person inside the ball and I have released all other's emotions so they are outside”. “This ball protects me and keeps me clear so I can best assist others and myself as I move through my day.
2. Clearing:
After a private session, a class, or after being out in the city all day: I burn sage, incense or palo santo sticks. Light the stick, allow the smoke to move all around your body. Over your head, around your heart and down to your legs. The smoke will clear out any unwanted energy hooks, people still in your system, emotions that are not yours. Leaving you feeling clear and free.
3. Affirmations/Self Talk
Say to yourself:
“I am me, I am here, I have my own emotions and feelings which are separate from yours”.
”You are you, you are there, you have your own emotions and feelings which are separate from mine”.
You can also write this in a journal or on a post-it note to hang on your mirror.
Last words of advice:
Remember to stay open when the situation is appropriate. Being empathetic can be a beautiful and amazing thing, so treasure your gift but know how to protect, honour and take care of yourself when needed. We are of the most use to the world when we’ve first taken care of our own needs and love ourselves.
Love,
Kelsey xo