I am a terrible decision maker, whenever there is a decision to be made about a life direction, a change of some sort, I panic. I freeze often in uncertainty. I FaceTime my parents, I talk to my friends, I agonize and debate, I write pros and cons... I discuss and deliberate for ages until I finally, after much agony and stress, come to a decision. What should I study? Where should I live? Who should I date? What should I do to expand my business? These big picture questions plaque me. I worry what people will think about the decision even after I've made it. Will I upset anyone, will I be judged.

A friend recently reminded me that usually decisions get made for themselves. We can agonize and worry and stress, but in the end, there is often a "light bulb" moment, where the truth of the matter all of a sudden seems obvious. Ah ha! That's what I'm meant to do, as if we knew it all along. Maybe my heart, my soul knew, my unconscious mind, but my rational thinking, cortex mind had no freakin clue. The two parts of my brain don't often communicate all that effectively it seems.

All this frustratingly challenging big picture decision making I've been trying to do recently has brought up the debate in my head and with friends, about personal choice and free will vs. determinism. How much control do we have over the outcome and direction of our lives? Are our lives predestined? Are there too many outside factors and influences in the lives and the environments around us that we can't possibly have any control over what happens? I've heard arguments for all 3. Like all decisions...I can't decide where I stand!!

What do you think? Do we have ultimate control over everything that happens in our life? Do we have no control over what happens to us? Is it somewhere in between?